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Archive | January, 2012

Period.

January 28, 2012

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I remember the exact moment that I received my first information about menstruation.  I was in first grade and for some reason, we were using the fourth grade bathroom and there was a feminine products machine on the wall. Some fourth grader, with amazingly large tits for her age, told me that once a month […]

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The Bloom of my Youth… It’s starting to smell rotten…

January 27, 2012

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My last post was 10 days ago.  I am going to have to go back to talking about my husband in order to have some fresh material.  Seriously.  I will no longer be a participant in this self-imposed gag order!  I am woman hear me roar! My husband married me in the bloom of my […]

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George Clooney

January 16, 2012

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George Clooney is a VERY handsome man, for his age, but I was struck by a recent photograph of him with his newest main squeeze, Stacey Keibler.  I thought, “Uh oh, this is the beginning of the end”… his time as a renowned international playboy is sliding inexorably down the hill into creepy old man […]

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Can I get an Amen? People who don’t RSVP suck.

January 15, 2012

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“Can I get an Amen?” is the name of my new “column” that will appear frequently in this blog.  The subject of each essay will fall under the category of “things I cannot stand.”  If they are also things that YOU cannot stand, then I’d like “to get an amen.   It has been awhile […]

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Yes Ma’am. I am a Stupid People. Part Two.

January 14, 2012

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Several weeks ago, I went to Ross clothing store – known for being a little low rent – they make TJ Maxx look like a fine department store instead of the yard sale it is – and purchased three pair of pants.  I was in and out fairly quickly since I was in a hurry.  […]

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At the risk of revealing that I am an alien species…

January 13, 2012

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At the risk of revealing that I am an alien species not of this planet, I am publicly stating that I hate Facebook, Twitter, Texting and iPhones.  This technology is the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it. Yes, I do have a Facebook page, but it is against my better judgment, […]

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Yes Ma’am. I am a Stupid People.

January 7, 2012

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I am going to go out on a limb here and officially say: I hate stupid people.  I especially hate it when stupid people talk to me like I am the one who is stupid. What is even worse is that occasionally these people are missing a lot of teeth, and you have to continue […]

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The Enemy

January 4, 2012

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Before-child, I had no idea the level to which parents were being shamelessly molested, in broad daylight no less, by every snake oil salesman in the world.   Yea, I am looking at you, Disney. Since becoming a mom to a consumer conscious mini-being, I have been inundated by the long, bony fingers of pick-pockets at […]

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“Home Alone” for the Holidays.

January 2, 2012

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Home alone with my child, that is.  I have just been paroled from a 2 week stint at home with my daughter for the holidays and I gotta say… it sure does feel good to be on the outside again.  Outside where grown-ups live.  Where I might find a quiet corner where I can sit […]

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