Yes Ma’am. I am a Stupid People.

I am going to go out on a limb here and officially say: I hate stupid people.  I especially hate it when stupid people talk to me like I am the one who is stupid.

What is even worse is that occasionally these people are missing a lot of teeth, and you have to continue to have a nonsensical conversation with this embodiment-of-ignorance, all while staring at huge Jack-o-lantern-like gaps in their pie holes.

The other day, I went into Zaxby’s for lunch.  After perusing the menu, I decided to order the grilled chicken sandwich meal.  Asking if I could have a side salad instead of fries, the young lady at the register, Bless Her Heart, checked the keys on the register and started reading them out loud to me: “no fries sub slaw”, “no fries sub onion rings”, “no fries sub side salad”… BINGO… Ding Ding Ding… we have a winner… after reading the third key to me, we were both assured that I could substitute a side salad… for an additional 99 cents.

I checked my receipt, which seemed a little high… double-checked the posted menu above her head and pointed out that I had been charged $2 more than the posted price.  “No, that was the difference in tax”, Dumb Bunny said.

Holding up a hungry line of lunchtime diners, I patiently said again, “no… look… this amount vs. that amount” pointing to the large menu board behind her… “oh, ma’am… that don’ count no more… we need to take that down.”  I said, “Yes, you DO need to TAKE THAT DOWN.”

Now, I am well aware that I could have gotten a manager and received a $2 refund.  Worst case, I could have gotten a full refund and gone somewhere else for lunch where they did not practice such deceptive menu pricing.  But I was hungry, the lines were long and I chose the lesser of two evils, though I will think twice before going there again.

I will say that here in the South, folks employ this charming technique to disarm aggressors, which is to completely agree with whatever our adversary is saying, and add a “ma’am” to it.  It is impossible to argue with a person employing this practice.

I finally had a single “instant” photograph show up in a Rite Aid machine three days after I tried to print it (I happened to be at the photo counter for another project which is the only way that I discovered it) and I said to the woman, “is that odd, that it would take three days for the machine to spit that out?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“So it just took three days for that to come out of the machine on its own?”

“Yes  Ma’am.”

“Is that unusual?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“Are you a complete moron too stupid to actually hold down a real job?”

Wait… don’t answer that.

Back to my lunch at Zaxby’s… I gotta say that damn chicken sandwich was delicious but I want to start a national campaign to outlaw iceberg lettuce.  Really, what is the point?  I should just gnaw on some shrubs in the restaurant’s landscaping for both better taste and nutrition.

And is anyone familiar with these new 100 drink option soda machine currently in Zaxbys?  I gotta say it is a marvel of American ingenuity.  Mainly, because no other country in the world would feel the need to have 100 soda choices for lunch.

I originally had Diet Coke and for my re-fill had Diet Coke with Lime.  The lime flavor made me feel like I was drinking a mixed alcoholic drink.  It tricked my palette into thinking I was on vacation in the middle of a work day.  Not a bad thing.

It is not the first or last time that I will be confronted with really stupid people.  And at some level, I know that it is not their fault if they are born with some deficient reasoning capacity… but I could really do without the “yes ma’am.”

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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