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Yes Ma’am. I am a Stupid People. Part Two.

Several weeks ago, I went to Ross clothing store – known for being a little low rent – they make TJ Maxx look like a fine department store instead of the yard sale it is – and purchased three pair of pants.  I was in and out fairly quickly since I was in a hurry.  I decided that one pair was a little uncomfortable but since I was going to Weight Watchers, after losing a couple more pounds, it would fit nicely.  So I go home, put those particular pants on a hanger and put them in my closet.

So this week, I was feeling thinner and decided that I would wear those pants.  When I pulled them on, I realized the hard plastic security tag that can only be removed by a machine was still attached.

Yes, you are thinking what I am thinking.  How did I ever get out of the store with them in the first place?  Obviously, their security buzzer was not working.

So, since it had been several weeks and the credit card that I charged them on had been paid, I no longer had the receipt.  Why would I?  I had no intention of returning them.

“Oh, no,” I thought, “they are going to think I stole them.”  Then I thought, “surely not”… what else could they do but take the damn thing off, they couldn’t refuse to do it… could they?

So today, I got a chance to stop by the Ross closest to my house – which is not the location at which I purchased the pants.  As I walked in with my contraband clothing, the damn security buzzer went off.  Great.  If I didn’t look like a thief before, I certainly did now.

So I explain all this to the cretin at “customer service” and I use that term loosely.  Customer Service, not cretin.  I stand behind the cretin.  I told her my whole story… veerryyy slowly.  I wanted her to understand why I had the pants so long without ever wearing them, why I no longer had the receipt, why I just put the pants on this week.  Well, of course, Miss In-bred couldn’t do it without calling a manager… after waiting 10 minutes, another very, very stupid woman came up to me and I repeated my whole, long story…. Weeks ago… too tight… Weight Watchers… blah blah blah… and this flippin’ moron said that she could not do it unless I could “produce” a receipt – out of my ass, I presume… and that I would have to take them to the store where I purchased them.

So, I kind of exploded.  It had been a long day.  I said, “I KNEW you were going to act like I had stolen them.  Now, instead of taking care of this at the location 4 miles from my house, I have to drive 20 miles round trip to get this fixed because you all can’t do your jobs.”

I am not sure what sort of management training program she graduated from but apparently it was a really shitty one because her response was to say, that in fairness, I bought these at the East Chase location and I “couldn’t put this on them.”  I pointed out the obvious, that they were the SAME COMPANY… and she dismissed me with “have a good day.”

So on my way to the next location, where driving was difficult due to the blind rage I was in… I called the second store.  I got the manager, John, on the phone and repeated my sad little tale to the third Ross employee in the past 10 minutes.  A little tight, weeks ago, Weight Watchers is a success, can now wear, blah blah blah… Of course, I also told him that his brain-damaged co-workers treated me like a thief.  John, bless him, said they would take care of it.

So finally after rescuing my poor little pants from purgatory, just for fun, I called the District Manager, Kim.  At this point, I had so much practice presenting my story, and my blood pressure had dropped to just below stroke level, that I was prepared to tell it again for the FOURTH time to yet ANOTHER Ross employee.  At least, on those four consecutive occasions, I was getting higher up the food chain.

Now, to all the stupid people out there:  let me just make a few points.  Let’s say I STOLE THE PANTS… well, hells bells, you can’t prove it.  You can’t press charges.  I now have possession of the pants on this side of the door.  I think possession is 9/10 of the law.  They are mine and you can’t prove they aren’t.  I wasn’t asking for a refund or to exchange them for another item.  I just needed the security tag removed.  Are you somehow defending your territory by making the pants unwearable to what might be a potential thief?

The pants cost $14.99.  As I told Kim, if I did steal them, I have created an incredibly elaborate back-story to throw you off the scent.  And I must have really loved those pants to go through all this.  Why didn’t I just steal something without a tag on it?  And how in the name of all that is holy did I get out of the store with them in the first place?  It only makes sense that the alarm system did not go off.  Otherwise, I would be doing community service at the morgue with Lindsey Lohan right now for my shoplifting conviction.

Kim assured me that Miss Hot Pants at the first store would be getting a call from her.  She and John both apologized all over themselves.  And what did Dumb Bunny accomplish today?  She pissed off a customer (or frequent Ross shoplifter depending on how you look at it) and she got in trouble.  And you know what?  At the end of the day, I got wearable pants.  Now who’s stupid?

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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4 Comments on “Yes Ma’am. I am a Stupid People. Part Two.”

  1. Kevin Ternes Says:

    I wonder if that security tag can be removed with anything but a special tool.
    Hmmm….

    CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

    Reply

  2. ozzyatl Says:

    Please, please record your brief experiences in the home health industry decades ago…I can jog your memory if you’ve blocked it out….

    Reply

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