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Car Pool

February 18, 2012

Essays for Giggles, Mom Stories

Twice a day, five days a week, nine months out of the year, women of school-aged children suffer from it… mind-numbing boredom, which makes a spike to the frontal lobe seem like a welcome respite… we call it: Car Pool.

If you have nothing better to do, you can  be first in line and wait 45 minutes until the final bell rings.  This is a good time to make a grocery list, clean out your purse or take a nap.

You can also be farther down the line and wait less time… all while staring dully into space.  The lack of oxygen to the brain is measured in mere degrees by the difference in these two choices.  I am trying to say it is ALL bad.

I am not an iPhone user. I don’t have instant internet access in my hand.  I think many of the women who do use it to survive car pool.   I envy them their ability to check email or look for a dinner idea on recipe.com.

I guess I could do that too, but like all technology, I go screaming and kicking into the future, and when I do finally convert to the status quo, many years later… I am AMAZED at how WONDERFUL this technology is… look, people!  Isn’t this AWESOME?  Look what I can do?  “Yep, we were doing that 10 years ago… Freak.”

There is a perverse order to Car Pool.  Every school has its own rules, and those rules are inviolate.  You can be the Mayor’s wife and you will get called down by the PE Coach with the megaphone if you try to get out of your car in Car Pool.

Never get out of your car, even 30 minutes before dismissal, and risk slowing down Car Pool.  Do not do it.  I warn you.

I had a friend pick up my daughter one day, and arriving upon two women chatting OUT OF THEIR CAR, a direct violation of standard Car Pool procedure, she assumed they were in line for something else and drove around them, in effect CUTTING LINE in Car Pool.  More than once I have had to defend her against demonstrations on her lawn.  She is a good person!  She made a mistake!  Leave her alone!

I have heard other horror stories from friends:  the woman who inadvertently violated protocol in Car Pool one day and had the “parking lot security police” talk to them about their infraction.  This was at a CHURCH… for PRE -SCHOOL children… and my friend saw the old bat flag down security when she failed to stop at a sign because she thought the cars were supposed to keep moving.

Another friend knew someone who went to an interview at a private school, inadvertently parking in a time restricted parking space.  It would have all been well and good, but for the fact that when she came out, Car Pool was backed up and couldn’t move.

NEVER restrict the flow of Car Pool.  Wax On.  Wax Off.

This poor women’s children wound up attending that school, but she had to sell her car so no one would recognize her after what became known as “The Incident”.

I myself got a “talking-to” by the principal of another school for doing EXACTLY WHAT EVERY OTHER PARENT WAS DOING.  Still not sure about that one, but I now do what she said.  There is nothing worse than being a 40-year-old woman and getting sent to the principal’s office.

If you don’t have to do Car Pool in your life.  Be grateful.  Very grateful.  Because if the boredom doesn’t kill you, breaking the rules will.

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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3 Comments on “Car Pool”

  1. Karlyn Says:

    You get an enthusiastic amen on this one from me. Car pool is miserable!

    Reply

  2. Sherry Says:

    Preach on sister…preach on! Oh & let me tell you that in some of these car pool lines you have to have a giant sign with the childs name of it before they will even let them near your car! Bear in mind these are the same people that see you picking up that same child everyday from school.

    Reply

  3. Joan Adams Says:

    ouch!

    Reply

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