Budgets Suck

February 22, 2012

Essays for Giggles

In my current effort to show my husband that I really CAN stick to a budget if I want to (I have just never wanted to before), I have been keeping a spreadsheet of expenses.

I have been diligent in writing down every expense right down to the $1.30 it costs to get a Bluray out of the Redbox machine.   

If you spend any time in Europe, you realize America is ALL about the conveniences.  We have separate rooms for the laundry machines. 

They have a miniature washing machine behind the door in the bathroom and then you hang your panties outside for all the neighbors to see. 

This is why when I travel overseas I take underwear two sizes too small. 

Yes, I walk around with a wedgie up my butt the whole time, but when my undies are hanging on the line at my mother-in-law’s, no one knows exactly how big my ass is.

Try to grocery shop there and you find that cheese does not come shredded, and fruits and vegetables are not sold out of season. 

What the hell are you supposed to cook for dinner?

One of my favorite modern conveniences is household cleaning products. 

My Swiffer, my Wet Jet, the Swiffer Duster… all personal friends of mine.  My toilet bowl brush is even disposable for goodness sake.  I just press a button and that nasty cleaning part goes straight in the trash. 

One of my many pet peeves is the traditional toilet brush that sits in the bathroom with the toilet run-off like a little shit-water pond. 

So in my quest for convenient cleaning products, I use Cascade capsules in my dishwasher.  A little grainy, bubble lump that you drop right in the dispenser.  No mess.  No fuss.  Expensive, but convenient.  I have thought about giving up my Cascade capsules and I just can’t do it.

So imagine my horror, when I realized I did not have enough to get through February and the budget column for frivolous conveniences was closed.  I got little panicky and started giving semi-clean plates a quick rinse instead of loading the dishwasher unnecessarily. 

I thought, “Oh Lord, what am I going to do?”… and then it occurred to me… I have plenty of dish detergent… how about I just wash dishes by hand?  It literally took several minutes for that to occur to me as an option.

My how the mighty have fallen when we run out of expensive dishwasher detergent and have to resort to doing it like they did in the olden days.

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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