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Well, Hellooo there Doctor!

March 13, 2012

Essays for Giggles

As a newbie to the world of multiple doctor’s appointments and unexplained medical phenomena, it occurred to me this morning as I was getting ready to visit a new doc, that this experience was much like getting ready for a romantic date.

 

I may have been too ill to stand for a week and smell like day-old fish, but I am not going to see a new doctor in this condition.  And we ladies know a thing or two about grooming for doctors.

 

At least once a year, we see the “Protector of our Lady Bits” and that requires a thorough inspection of the downstairs carpet.  Might need to shore up the landing strip.  Certainly, some landscaping is required.

 

And we know it is downright rude to introduce any body odors to the proceedings that are just not outright necessary.  So there may be some spritzing and gargling going on down there.

 

But I am talking about an ordinary medical experience, where you expect all your prizes and goodies to remain behind Door Number Three.  That experience still requires the attention to detail of a first date with a hot new guy or gal.

 

I do not know what Dr. S looks like, but my legs and armpits are hairless.  I have soft supple skin, smelling of the original Jergens almond flavor.  A variety of tantalizing smells are emanating from my body from Spring Scent deodorant and White Linen body mist to facial moisturizer and hair mousse.   Hopefully, he will appreciate my efforts to present him with a pleasant human specimen to examine.

 

Perhaps I will divorce my husband today and marry Dr. S. or maybe…  I should get all doodied up for my husband more often?  Nah….

 

 

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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One Comment on “Well, Hellooo there Doctor!”

  1. Lyn Edlin Says:

    Mmmmm, I like to gross them out!!!! Sometimes I will eat beans the day before an appointment.(not really,but I’ve thought about it.)

    Reply

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