Asshat of the Week – February 8, 2013

February 8, 2013

Asshat of the Week

This is my inaugural column, to run every Friday, right here at, awarding  “Asshat of the Week” status to the most douchiest person in America right now.

There was some stiff competition this week.  There was the clearly senile Pat Robertson saying that if the Boys Scouts of America “allowed” gays in the organization, they would be encouraging and inviting pedophiles to join.  Okay, first of all, I don’t know what happened to poor Pat Robertson as a child, or perhaps he is driven by his unmet, private sexual desires, but I wish the thick-skulled homophobes would at least get this:  homosexuals are not pedophiles in the same way that heterosexuals are not pedophiles.  Pedophiles are pedophiles.  Is that so hard to understand?

And, let me be the voice of… I don’t know… FACTS… pedophiles in the Boy Scouts is a ship that done sailed, Pat.  Pedophiles go where children are, including sports coaches and religious leaders, and no one “invites” pedophiles in, though some organizations do a better job of giving them a fertile playing field than others.

Then there was the teacher/football coach in Alabama (like Alabama’s reputation can take much more) who was suspended for calling Michelle Obama “Big Butt.”  The same article pointed out that Rush Limbaugh has commented on the size of the FLOTUS’ behind as well.  Has Rush seen his ass lately?  I mean, is it even possible without those wide-load mirrors truckers use?  And I have yet to see a picture of this teacher’s butt, but I am curious as to how cute and perky it is.

Michelle Obama is healthy and strong and has the biceps of a gladiator.  I am quite sure she can kick my ass and yours.  I am so tired of the misogyny and racism that keeps calling attention to this women’s very fine and lovely figure, especially from fat, stupid men.

Yes, my first week awarding the coveted Asshat of the Week title was tough.  So many people want the honor… but the first Asshat of the Week is… drum roll, please… DONALD TRUMP!

Remember when Donald Trump, who I seriously think may be suffering from early on-set dementia, or some “Beautiful Mind” style schizophrenia, offered $5 million dollars to the charity of President Obama’s choice if he released his college transcripts and proved to “The Donald’s satisfaction” (and that was his “out clause” –  he would have never been satisfied. The man may be an Asshat, but he isn’t a stupid one), that President Obama was an American citizen?

Well, Bill Maher, a comedian, recently stated on national television, that he would give $5 million dollars to the charity of Donald Trump’s choice if he could prove that he wasn’t the product of his mother having sex with an orangutan.  You see, Donald’s skin tone is getting more orange by the day – perhaps the result of some exotic, as yet undiagnosed illness that is turning him into an Asshat?   And that thing on his head that resembles hair, looks more simian than human.  And have you really looked at that face lately?  All smushed up and irrationally angry all the time?

So, Bill Maher, a comedian, who made a joke in the same vein as Donald’s Trump’s ridiculous offer to the President, noting that he, in fact, resembled an orangutan, is now being sued by Donald “Asshat” Trump for the $5 million dollars.

The Donald, who apparently did not get enough attention as a child, went on “Fox and Friends”, the only media outlet who will still take his calls, to announce his impending litigation.  When it was suggested to him that Bill Maher’s comments, might have been, well… a joke, he stated, “No, that was a serious offer.  There was venom in his voice.”

For sheer thick-headedness and shameless self-promotion, along with a grasping pathetic need for attention, I award this week’s “Asshat of the Week” to Donald Trump!

Congrats Donald!

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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4 Comments on “Asshat of the Week – February 8, 2013”

  1. healthyfrenchie Says:

    Love this award! And I also love your choice! Though the profound stupidity and prejudice of some people never ceases to amaze me…


  2. thelastsongiheard Says:

    LOL Awesome 🙂 Love it 🙂 Honestly, I’d go so far as to say Maher can be a bit of an asshat too…


  3. janineyork Says:

    I would have to conquer. I really thought it was a funny joke, just like Donald himself. I look forward to these awards Renea.


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