Asshat of the Week – February 15, 2013

February 15, 2013

Asshat of the Week

This week’s “Asshat of the Week” didn’t really have much competition.  After I read Rex Reed’s review of the movie “Identity Thief” with Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman, I said, “Congratulations, we have a winner!”

Rex Reed is 74-years-old and has been around forever (obviously).  He used to do a syndicated TV show called “At the Movies.”  He currently writes a movie review column for the New York Observer and at his advanced age, perhaps it’s time for him to retire.

Melissa McCarthy won an Emmy for her work on a TV show called “Mike and Molly” which I’ve never seen and know nothing about.  She first came to my attention in the movie “Bridesmaids”, which is a raunchy comedy that is HILARIOUS.  It also rocketed Kristin Wigg into Superstardom.  If you haven’t seen it, you should grab a bottle of wine, invite your girlfriends over and give it a peek.  If you have a weak bladder like mine, wear a pad, ‘cause you’ll pee your pants.

The only other time I’ve seen Melissa McCarthy was when she hosted SNL and on a couple of random talk shows.  I think she’s funny.  I admire the balls-out raunchiness she throws out there for a laugh.  And she seems like a sweet lady, too.

She is also “plus-sized”, “pleasantly plump”, “zaftig”, “Rubenesque”, and well… not to put too fine a word on it, she is over-weight – fat, if you want to be rude – but yes, clinically obese by any medical standard in the world.

Rex Reed gave the movie a horrible review, which is fine.  First, that’s his job; he’s a movie critic as well as an Asshat; he just doesn’t get paid for the Asshat work.  Second, I haven’t seen the movie but I bet it’s a stinker based on the lazy work I’ve seen in the previews, but that’s not the point.

Rex “Asshat” Reed referred to Melissa McCarthy in his review as ‘tractor-sized”, “humongous”, “obese” and a “female hippo”, this in reference apparently to her talent as an actress.  I mean, just one of those comments would have been incredibly mean and Asshatish, but all of that in one five hundred word article?  Wow.  Who’s a bigger Asshat than Rex Reed this week?  No one, that’s who.

What the hell does Melissa McCarthy’s weight have to do with the role she played?  She wasn’t doing porn.  She wasn’t portraying a Victoria’s Secret model, nor would she have ever been cast as such.  Clearly, she was physically suited to the role by the very fact that she had been hired to do it.

Rexie also says that she is a “gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious.”  Well, at least that is a reference to her actual skills as a comedian as opposed to her physical appearance – sort of – but I have one observation – no one says that about John Candy or Chris Farley, and they essentially died because they were Rubenesque. (And I know you don’t call men Rubenesque.  I’m making a point.)

Okay, we all know that this has nothing to do with her talent as an actress and comedian.  This is because she is a woman and Rex Reed is a man – though an old, decrepit and mean one – and Melissa is being held to an entirely different standard than a man would be.  I haven’t been able to find the actual review, so I haven’t read it myself, but I have heard that Rex Reed spent half his review of “Sex and the City” talking about Sarah Jessica Parker’s mole.

Now, I gotta admit, that mole disturbs me a bit as well.  I have had one removed from my face that was essentially the same size and in the same place and I’m not rich.  I paid $200 cash to a very good plastic surgeon in Kentucky and now there is not even a noticeable scar.  He sawed on that thing for a half hour and it took a dozen stitches.

Since I know SJP can pay well above my small-town discount rate, with presumably access to a more experienced surgeon, I’m guessing she has embraced her mole.  She may have even named it.  The point being, the mole has nothing to do with the quality or lack thereof of the movie, or her ability as an actress.

So it sounds like Rex Reed is a misogynistic, dickhead who aptly deserves this award.  Ladies and Gentleman, your Asshat of the Week is…. Rex Reed!

Congratulations, Rex!

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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