Asshat of the Week – March 22, 2013

March 22, 2013

Asshat of the Week

I know that based on my usual jabbering, most people would think that I was a Liberal Democrat… to which I would say, “Ha!  It’s not that easy.”  I distinctly remember walking into my high school cafeteria upon turning 18, lo’ those many years ago, and registering to vote.  “Independent”, I cried!  I didn’t want anyone to think they owned me, or necessarily had my vote in their pocket because I belonged to a certain “party”.  I didn’t want anyone to think they knew anything about me.

A lovely friend of mine once described himself as fiscally conservative and socially liberal.  What party would that be?  A Repubcrat?  A Demopubkin?

The fact that so far, all previous Asshat winners have been Conservative Republicans (except for Rex Reed, I don’t know about him), might seem slanted in favor of Liberal Democrats, or slanted against them as the case may be, if you truly value the Asshat Award with the reverence that you should.

So this week, I am proud to announce my first Liberal Democrat as the winner of this week’s Asshat of the Week Award!

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg tried to pass into law (currently halted by the New York State Supreme Court), a ban on sodas served in 32-ounce cups.  The Courts have overturned the ban saying that the law is arbitrary and capricious.  You think?

First of all, I hate stupid rules and laws.  This law keeps restaurants from serving you a 32-ounce soda, but does not prevent you from purchasing as much soda as you would like from your neighborhood convenience store.  It also doesn’t prevent you from refilling your 8-ounce glass four times, though perhaps they think the repeated short walks to the soda machine will burn a calorie.  So in short, this stupid, stupid law does nothing to prevent a person from drinking too much soda.

And talk about a Nanny State.  To hell with Doomsday Preppers, even I get a little nervous when the government wants to tell me how much of a sugary beverage that I can have at one sitting.  And to imagine enforcing this in a city of 8 million people is just ludicrous.  One would hope that NYC cops would have better things to do than arresting a Pakistani Pizzeria owner over the size of his cups.

Now this misguided attempt at doing something to curb the obesity epidemic is not lost on us all.  There is an epidemic for anyone paying any attention.  If we want to do something about that legislatively, I suggest that we first start requiring accurate labeling on our food and STOP PUTTING HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP INTO EVERY DAMN THING WE EAT.  I just noticed the other day that a box of plain bread crumbs in my pantry had corn syrup listed as the fourth ingredient.  Stop letting Big Business control our food supply for profit.  We should reasonably expect that we can eat a simple food, say a tortilla, without any chemicals, artificially modified ingredients or hidden sugars (in a non-sweet food).  But that is not the case.  We are being systematically poisoned by our food supply for profit.  So it seems a little… I don’t know… arbitrary and capricious to blame the problem on too much soda.

It also seems a little ballsy… and not in a good way… to try to legislate how much soda a person can have.  I don’t even drink soda and that makes me want to stand in the middle of Tiananmen Square and chug a 2-liter of Mellow Yellow.

And for those of you who don’t understand this, we Southerners are not like your fancy-pants, latte-drinking New Yorkers and we don’t take kindly to being told what to do.  As a result, Mississippi, ironically the most obese state in the nation, has passed an “Anti-Bloomberg” bill that says no individual municipality can enact a ban on restaurant portion sizes.  This could be an issue for another Civil War if we are not careful.

So, for all the drama caused by a ridiculous discussion on the power of high calorie, sugary drinks to destroy a nation, all while we are still engaged in two wars (anyone remember those?), our economy is in disarray, our Federal government is run by a bunch of baboons (and that might just be an insult to baboons), people are homeless, hungry and uninsured, and our school systems suck, I would like to award this week’s Asshat of the Week Award to Mayor Michael Bloomberg!

Congratulations Mayor!

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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