Asshat of the Week! – March 29, 2013

March 29, 2013

Asshat of the Week

Remember when Sandra Bullock was married to Jesse James?  What the hell was that about, huh?

In 2010, after five years of marriage, and just days after winning an Oscar for “The Blind Side” (really not an Oscar-worthy performance, but who am I?  Rex Reed?), Sandra Bullock, and the rest of the world, discovers that Jesse has been knockin’ boots with several tattooed and trashy ladies all over Hollywood.

You kind of feel sorry for Sandy – this was not a whim for her – she was 35 – years – old when she married this clown and to date, this has been her only marriage, and after such a disastrous choice, perhaps it should be her last… but seriously?  Sandy?  Come ON… first of all, he may have been your first marriage, but you were his third… and his second wife was a PORN STAR for God’s Sake… you married a man who married a woman who has sex with strangers on camera for money… now does that seem like a sound decision to you?  Really… that doesn’t even take hindsight… just sight… and then there is the fact that (a) I had never heard of him, (b) he is tattooed within an inch of his life and if he finds that look beautiful on him, just imagine what he thinks of some looker like Kat Von D and (c) apparently he is a reality television star on some redneck show I have also never heard of… oh, and he’s ugly… and it seemed like a good idea to marry him?

After some very awkward and painful public declarations of love for him, Sandra Bullock saw the light… finally… jeez… maybe she has a blind side… and escaped.

Jesse, meanwhile, decides he has not been a big enough dick-head and becomes engaged to one of his mistresses, Kat Von D… apparently some other reality television personality that I had never heard of on a show that I had never seen and to this day don’t know the name of – but they broke up because… wait for it… he cheated on her!  No!  That cad!  He cheated on the woman that he cheated on his wife with!?  Say it isn’t so.

So, you know what they say… fourth time’s the charm!  Congratulations to the new(est) Mr. and Mrs. Jesse James!  This weekend Jesse married Alexis DeJoria, a tattooed drag-car racer (just his type – what Sandy didn’t have enough tats for him?), the daughter of a billionaire (yes, I said billionaire; I hope to God there is a pre-nup), estimated to be the heir to a 4 billion dollar fortune from her father, co-founder of Paul Mitchell Hair Products and Patron Tequila.

I don’t know if this was her first marriage, but she has a 10-year-old daughter who was a flower girl, along with Jesse’s 9-year-old daughter, so we know she ain’t a virgin… and of course, they had a full- scale traditional wedding… well, as traditional as a wedding dress on a woman so heavily tattooed you can’t see her back can be… formal white dress… attendants… flower girls… ugly bridesmaid dresses… the works…

Schadenfreude is a twisted thing… and I know I don’t portray myself in the most gracious light when I say that I am going to enjoy watching this little drama… can’t wait to see how this unfolds… oh the suspense… will it last?  Has Jesse finally found “the one”?  Fingers crossed.

For getting married to the love of his life, for the fourth time, and for being a royal douche bag… this week’s Asshat of the Week award goes to Jesse James!  Congratulations Jesse!

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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2 Comments on “Asshat of the Week! – March 29, 2013”

  1. Says:

    Well, poor Sandra obviously made a mistake. Sher perhaps suffers from that bad boy complex. Perhaps her Daddy was an alcoholic or the was no Dad in her life. That would make total sense. Jesse James is disgusting and I’m not sure he can keep it in his pants long enough not to cheat on his new wife who stands to inherit 4 billion dollars. Oh the dilemma.


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