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THE HAT

May 3, 2015

Sunday Fun Day

The first Saturday in May, as all good Kentucky natives – and international gamblers – know is

The Kentucky Derby.

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This year, I attended “Thurby” – the “Derby” that runs on Thursday before the main event.

It was the culmination of many important sartorial choices for me, but none more critical than “The Hat.”  Festive chapeaus are a staple of the horsey set and I wanted to fit in, plus, when would I ever again get to wear a hat that made me look like a resident of The Capitol in The Hunger Games?

I have been blessed with a large head. Not encephalitis or anything like that, just a nice round cantaloupe-shaped dome, and those “one-size-fits-all” toppers are a flippin’ joke.

Seventeen years ago, I won a contest that gave me a high roller’s track- side view of how the other half lives at Derby.  I had a big head then, too, but I wound up finding one straw hat that would encircle my generous cranium. I hot glued some white flowers on it and wore it with a black and white polka dotted dress. I’ve worn it a few times over the years since then. Apparently, it was destined to be the only hat I would ever own unless I had some skull-liposuction.

This weekend, after a frustrating and fruitless search for a new hat, I wound up executing a desperate, last-minute raid on Michael’s to purchase $10 worth of artificial flowers which I hot glued into a new festive arrangement.

I don’t think I did too bad, if I do say so myself, and now that I know this is the only hat that I will ever have, I will plan to hot glue on a new arrangement in another decade or so.

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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4 Comments on “THE HAT”

  1. haydendlinder Says:

    It kind of looks like a cake. I like it… Maybe because i like cake.

    Reply

  2. Janine Koslofsky Says:

    You could meet The Queen in that hat. Lovely m’dear.

    Reply

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