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Two-fer Sunday Fun Day: Men and Lesbians

June 8, 2015

Sunday Fun Day

Top 5 Things I Would Enjoy about being a Man

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5. Raining hell-fire noxious gas and (a) not being affected by it personally and (b) suffer no sense of embarrassment. As a matter of fact, I might even look around and pretend like I don’t know what everyone else is talking about.

4. The expectation that when I am sick with a little summer cold, that I get to lie on the couch and be waited on, complaining in a hoarse voice that I am going to die.

3. Having an extreme amount of body self-confidence in direct proportion to nothing but my own belief that I am awesome and with no relationship at all to the reality of my actual body.

2. Lying on the couch or sprawled out in a recliner all day on the weekends watching sports like that was my job.

1. Being able to pee standing up. Really, the one thing I have penis-envy over. It is supremely unfair that the sheer convenience of this animal adaptation eludes half the species.

The Best Thing about Being a Lesbian

(To Me)

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I’m not one of those women that believes that living with another woman would make my life easier. No, I’m sure there are many a female partner who can fart like a man, whine like a man and never take out the trash. And I can’t imagine being me and living with another me. That would be unbearable. But I am terribly envious of the fact that they don’t need to worry about birth control. Just imagine being a sexually active woman and NEVER having to consider pills, injections, or devices implanted in your uterus and to never worry about a late period. That kind of blissful freedom is unimaginable… to everyone but lesbians.

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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4 Comments on “Two-fer Sunday Fun Day: Men and Lesbians”

  1. playdatedropout82 Says:

    Hmmm… I do all that man stuff and I’m definitely a straight woman LOL it’s true though about the period stuff with lesbians. My bff and her wife never have to worry about that kinda thing! I’m so jealous!

    Reply

  2. Lisa Nolan at Monkey Star Press Says:

    I liked your list, what a hoot! I think peeing standing up would be #1 on my list!

    Reply

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