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Southerners Don’t Like Rules

th75MGCBES(To all my lovely Followers, thinkandponder will soon be coming to an end and will officially become the blog of Cheaper Than Therapy – A Storytelling Show. http://www.cheap-therapy-storytelling-show.com. Posts will be made in both locations until June 30, 2015. If you wish to stay in touch, please follow the CTT page so you don’t miss anything!)

Southerners don’t like rules.

Yankees may not like rules either, but they sure got a lot of ’em.

 As a Southerner — though as a Kentucky native living in Alabama, by Old Dixie’s standards, I’m practically a Union sympathizer — and as someone who suffers from oppositional defiance disorder (self-diagnosed), traversing the foreign soil of the free states is fraught with instructional intervention from folks who think I just got off the boat.

In New Jersey, it is illegal to pump your own gas. Maybe they should pass a law that it is illegal for me to wipe my own ass, that is a service I would appreciate.

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You can be fined for touching these without specialized training in New Jersey.

In Maryland recently, I entered the hotel lobby barefoot, with my daughter in her bathing suit.  We were told we had to have on shoes and not have on bathing suits. In the lobby of a hotel on the way to the pool.

And MD hotels are required to have lifeguards. Every day at this business hotel in a working district, I would see the teenage lifeguard staring vacantly at the empty pool, and at night, alone in the dark, guarding that still water with her life until 10 p.m. and the pool was only 5′ deep. There probably weren’t two people staying in the entire hotel who couldn’t touch the bottom.

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The Loneliest Lifeguard in the World.

Now, some people say that requiring trained personnel to pump our gas and watch our hotel pools is keeping us safe.

To that I say, “bite me.”

But that’s just my disorder talking

 

 

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About reneadijab

Renea Dijab

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